Mary Lost Her little Lambs

Adam Lambert- what do you want from me

2010-04-20T00:56:00.001+08:00

Hey, slow it down
What do you want from me
What do you want from me
Yeah, I’m afraid
What do you want from me
What do you from me

There might have been a time
I would give myself away
Once upon a time
I didn’t give a damn
But now here we are
So what do you want from me

What do you want from me

Just don’t give up
I’m workin’ it out
Please don’t give in
I won’t let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, what do you want from me

What do you want from me

Yeah, it’s plain to see
that baby you’re beautiful
And it’s nothing wrong with you
It’s me – I’m a freak
but thanks for lovin’ me
Cause you’re doing it perfectly

There might have been a time
When I would let you step away
I wouldn’t even try but I think
you could save my life

what use?

2010-02-22T01:11:00.002+08:00

not a listener

not a comforter

so what are you?

what use is it if i cannot confide in you?

Another Channal?

2010-02-05T02:29:00.002+08:00

It has been my dream to be a nurse. But I gave up that dream because of childish reasons, which was a shame. But I still wish to help others. Maybe God gave me a chance to work with young children which drives my passion to help children with special needs.

After I finish my Diploma and Degree in Early Childhood Education, I would like to go into Early Intervention for Children.

:)

that's my goal.

Unhappy

2010-02-01T00:15:00.004+08:00

Lately I feel very sad. Not happy at all. It's been a long time since I feel happy about something related to me. Eversince that day I had an arguement with Chao Ta the feeling is worse now.

Maybe I should just face the fact that not everyone can be like some of the people whom I met in my life who can treat ppl out of their family with so much love, care and concern.

Maybe some time alone will do me good at this pt of time. I feel that I dunno who I am recently. Can I mummified myself?

Pretty Woman

2010-01-23T14:04:00.002+08:00

Heard great reviews about the movie and after such a long long time, I finally got a chance to watch it. Old movie but great movie. So sweet and romantic. Funny too. Now I know, where one of my favorite song Fallen by Lauren Wood comes from.

I must say, Julia Roberts looks darn captivating in the show, and after Pierce Brosnan, Richard Gere is defineitly the next 'mature' man I think is CHARMINGGGGGG!!!!

I want to own the DVD/ VCD for this movie.

Heart of Worship

2010-01-20T22:13:00.003+08:00

I wouldn't call my belief a religion. It's a Relationship.

It's time to go back into the heart of worship. I've never been going to church regularly, but that doesn't make me a bad christian. God loves me still, and I know he would be glad to see me back in church again, which I WILL.

I prayed, he answered and showed me the way. Once again, Lord has helped me. I am blessed in many ways.

I hope Chao Ta will open his heart. He doesn't have to believe but just give it a chance. Your wrong impression of Christianity is not God's fault but the person who gave u the wrong feeling. Therefore, look at things with an open mind. I am blessed with alot of good things in life (family love and support, you might say I am very fortunate) and I hope that you too can one day recieve the same kind of blessing as I do form God.

-----------

Last Saturday Chao Ta brought me to Kent Ridge Park after dinner. It was ermm.. FAR FROM ROMANTIC but i'll give u stars for effort la. HaHa!!

One day, just one day, I hope to feel that you are proud to have me and that you can take the effort to impress me like how u would if we were dating.

As for me, I'll learn to be more WISE with money and decision making. Or rather not be SO RASH!!! I guess most of time m mistakes made is beacuse i am too RASH!! I must learn to give myslef time to think through.

-----------

Being husband and wife is really not simple. I am willing to learn are you?

:(

2010-01-12T04:22:00.006+08:00

Why is it you are always complaining about me. You kept mentioning Why I this, Why I that? Have you thought Why you are not like this Why you are not like that. Look at what I said and what you said.

You crazy or what suddenly bring your friend into the picture. For your information, I never don't accept your friends. If I don't accept I would have stop you from even hanging out with him. I didn't even do it. You go drink with them, go bowling with them, I also never even say anything lor. (feeling WRONGED again)

One can only hear negative things about themselves for a limited time. Day in day out I only hear you painting a bad picture on everything I say or do. In the end I just want to shut off from everything that comes out of your mouth. How many times I ask you to talk nicely to me. I ask you question you can just answer straight to the point don't so sacrastic. Did you? You also give me the can't be bothered attitude what. So same lor, last time I listen to all you say, but you always give me this attitude until I sian, I do the same back to you.

If the opinion fo others matters to you? Why didn't it occur to you that storming out of the bedroom will make people think? Using your phone constantly at a wedding is a form of disrespect to your host? Posting up all your thoughts about me on your blog isn't a very good idea? etc.. etc..

You make yourself out in your blog to be so 伟大 towards your mom, towards me. But have you consulted our opinion about you? Honestly, you are one person who is very difficult to get along and handle. Have you wondered why you never get along with your family (including me) but do so very much with your friends? Don't you think it's a problem? If you yourself can't even get along with everyone in your family, how do you expect me to do so?

Take your sister for example, I was quite alright with her to begin with, then later on you had an arguement with her, I had to dun friend her also. Then your mom, you once in awhile argue argue, complain about her, natuarally, you have painted a bad picture of her. Your other family members, I never once heard you say their positive points, so how is it I suppose to have good impression of them when all you mention are their negative. Have I ever mentioned terrible things about my family infront of you? Even your friends, I only hear you talk about their negative characteristics of them. It's like everyone is not good enough for you. Did I say terrible things about Stefanie all the time?

You always feel that what you do or say about us is right.

Why is it you always paint a negative picture about every incident, every situation, everyone? For instance when you say me, I don't like it. I get angry and stuff. But I accept it eventually cos I know you care. Do you do that? In your mind is all about I don't cherish this, I blur, I stupid, I silly, I never get things right, etc..

If I am so terrible in your opinion, why do you still bother to do anything to make up. I will always be a lousy character in your view. Everyone is never good enough for you. Especially me.

Your blog is read by many people, you post all our problems up. My blog is oblivious to my friends. So have you ever wondered how I felt to have other ppl know that we have a problem. Your mom knows, your friends know, we have a problem. Was it everything about me this me that? Try telling them about how you scold and stare at me each time you are angry. Try telling them you prefer to stay at home all the time, and even when i convince you to go out, you are always unhappy. Try telling them the way you always say me stupid and silly. Then let them judge why our relationship becomes so bitter.

You say I am selfish. I think you are no better then me. In fact I don't even feel anything from you that tells me this whole problem could be your fault to. I just feel that I am the cause of it all. Which is what I hate, cos I know I'm not.

If you keep thinking that I am at fault, I am terrible, I am the cause of all your headaches and our arguement. Even if we meet up and talk, it's not going to do any good to the situation.

I am tired. I honestly am. I never expect you to be unltra rich although I just say for fun. I never expect you to be damn creative, always come up with fanciful ideas to entertain me. I never insist you get gifts for me all the time. All I want is someone who can be by my side. Who stands by me, when I am sad or did something wrong he will tell me NICLEY and forgive eventually or when I'm sick can take care of me. But I don't feel that anymore eversince we got married. All I feel is that I am nothing but a prick. I can bear with your nonsense and sucky temper why can't you accept my shortcomings.

I have finish my bit I don't want to say anymore le. I don't need you to judge me. Probabbly, you should go judge yourself first. If you are not full marks then how can you expect other ppl to do so. If you still have the why I this why I that mindset, no matter how much we discuss to salvage this relationship, it doens't help.

It is not easy to be a husband or a son. But if you are willing to humble yourself down, and seek people's opinion, I'm sure it isn't difficult.

I AM NOT ALWAYS DOING SILLY THINGS!!!! 1 CHEQUE INCIDENT AND YOU JUDGE ME BAD, and whatever I did later on is just unpleasent to you. WTF?!

Anything you wan to say please stop posting on your blog le. It makes the situation even worse. In fact I woke up feeling alright feeling positive that things will be better, i can change. But when I saw your blog, I feel that I have been judged permanently, I jitao sian.

我好累

2010-01-11T19:05:00.004+08:00

这是我第四次跑回家了
这一次我没哭，反而觉得回家好开心，a sense of relief.

为什么每次吵架，错的总是我？
为什么每次你要求我开心我就得开心，安静就得安静？
如果是你生气就是会记在心里好久好久。

我真得很后悔结婚，可是已成定局所以我设法做好自己的本分，但偶尔还是忽略了一些事情。对其我感到很惭愧，但我真得很努力，但你要看的从来不是努力而是成果。

你说我不尊重你，但你又何曾尊重过我？人人都犯错你不是也会在朋友面前取笑我，在你妈妈面前大声喊我。虽然我不喜欢，也有好好提醒过你，但最后还不是一样。我有大发雷霆吗？这些你有发觉到吗?

我知道有时会拿你妈来说，我也设法提醒我自己不要那么做。我感到抱歉，但你昨晚突然间发脾气跑到客庭睡，你想一想你妈妈会对我们有什么影像？

今天早上你妈问我为什么我们真天吵？我回答她时，都感到不好意思。他还问我是否我们会离婚收场，如果你是我，现在住我家，我家人这么问你你会好受吗？

我真得很累了，常常我想跟你说我心里想的，但你总觉得我在针对你？其实我没有，我只是要让你知道我在想什么，让彼此没有误会。说不到几句你就那么激动。

我累了。我也不知道我还爱不爱你？也不确定你爱不爱我？为什么人家结婚，我也结婚，但我总是那么的不快乐，总是在流泪？我们可以像结婚之前吗？至少当时我们都很快乐，觉得有彼此的陪伴是非常幸福的。

难道一切都是因我而起。

Rememeber Me This Way

2010-01-10T00:21:00.003+08:00

Watched the movie, Casper this afternoon. Totally heart this movie, it never fails to make me tear. It's definietly on MY FAVOURITE MOVIE LIST. Oh, not only was the movie great, the theme song is equally touching.

Here it is, Remember Me This Way:

-----------

Since I mentioned MOVIE LIST, this are the list of movies I love love love. I don;t mind watching it over and over again. In fact, I even watched the same movie back to back. Madness. Who cares... List in no particular order.

- Beauty and the Beast (Disney Version)

- Meet the Robinsons ("keep moving forward")

- A Chinese Ghost Story (nostalgic, lots of sweet memories accompany this movie)

- 17 Again

- A Walk To Remember (the book just like the movie was amazing)

- The Notebook (rachel mcadams. love her)

- A Cinderella Story (typical storyline but still captivates me)

- The Wedding Singer (best on screen chemistry between the 2 fave actor and actress)

- 50 First Dates (needless to say Drew Berrymo and Adam Sandler makes a cute onscreen couple)

- Sweet November (storyline abit ridiculous but still it was very touching)

- City of Angels (meg ryan, totally love her hair in the movie. haha)

- Titanic (classic !!!!!! )

- Armegeddon (fave song in a fave movie, live tyler was so pretty and who can forget the sad father and daughter scene towards the end of the movie)

- Romeo and Juliet (Claire Danes version)

- Casper

- Transformers and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (watched Transformers on loop)

- Resident Evil, RE: Apocalypse, RE: Extinction, RE: Afterlife (I'm sure I'll love it)

- Batman Forever (the movie marks the beginning of my love for batman and his batmobile. and not forgetting he is one of those supervillian who doesn't have supernatural powers)

- Lord of the Rings Trilogy (Legolas.. PRECIOUSSSSSSSSS)

- Saving Private Ryan

- Internal Affairs (Andy Lau version; the hollywood remake was sucky)

- James Bond Installments (Pierce Brosnan was the reason why I started to watch the movie, afterwhich I read some of the books, watched some if the older versions. I was initially skeptical when Daniel Craig took over. But he didn't do a terrible job. His potrayed a different side of James Bond- the darker and rough it out side)

- Just Married (Ashton Kutcher and Brittany Murphy, another cute onscreen couple)

- White Chicks (one freaking lame comedy but so damn funny)

- You Don't Mess with the Zohan (brainlessly funny)

-Hangover (you spin my head right round.........)

- Bruce Almighty (meaningful comedy with lots of quotes worth remembering)

- My Best Friends Wedding (sweet romantic comedy)

- Uptown Girls (my favorite actress was in it- Brittany Murphy, such a pity she died so young)

- Shrek, Shrek2 and Shrek the Third (i thought the 3rd installment was the funniest, so many lame moments. totally loving it)

------------

One meaningful quote from the movie Bruce Almighty

"Parting a soup is not a miracle, Bruce. It's a magic trick. A single mom who's working two jobs, and still finds time to take her son to soccer practice, that's a miracle. A teenager who says "no" to drugs and "yes" to an education, that's a miracle. People want me to do everything for them. What they don't realize is *they* have the power. You want to see a miracle, son? Be the miracle."

Revamping My Room

2010-01-01T22:30:00.002+08:00

Bought new tables and small accessories to organize my table. Got myself a printer at last! Major damage to my pocket- $320. Faints! However, I'm proud of myself to be able to purchase all of these with my own hard earn $$.

The next pay cheque will go to a:
- new book shelf $79
- glass display cabinet $99
- wall mounted shelves $40 (est.)
- curtains (???)
- sofa bed ($70)

After CNY:
- IPHONE !!!

Wish List (long way to go):
- new desktop
- air-con
- TV

can i strike lottery please please please...

2009/ 2010

2010-01-01T01:27:00.005+08:00

If only Chao Ta enjoys watching movies as much as I do. Guess I have to find a movie buddy soon because there's so much movies which I would love to catch in 2010.

What does it mean to love somebody?

Read the book almost 2 years ago. It made me tear a few time. Well, a book my Nicholas Sparks, what else do you expect. So far, all the remakes (The Notebook, A Walk To Remember) which I've watched didn't fail me. Therefore, I hope this one will not disappoint me like what 'New Moon' (a remake from a popular book) the movie did.

Star- studded cast! Most of my favorite actresses and actors are in the show; Jennifre Garner, Anne Hathaway, Julia Roberts, Ashton Kutcher!!! Just by watching the trailer, I can tell the show will be hilarious and $9 worthy.

Warewolf and Vampires

Why? Such shows just entices me. Warewolf and vampires.

So far these are the few movies I REALLY WANT TO WATCH in 2010.

-----------

2010 has officially arrived! Yeah!

It's going to be an exciting new year. So looking forward to it. My biggest goal for Year 2010 is to vist Sydeny Australia.

Have been reading the book Lucy in the Sky by Paige Toon twice and I plan to read it the fourth time after I finish Hey Lucy by the same author. In Lucy in the Sky, she mentioned a few places found in Sydney which I totally would love to vist. Eg: Maly Beach. I know that place is a well- known tourist spot, but the book makes me really want to visit it and therefore I shall place it as one of the places I want to vist before I die. Haha!!

Speaking about books, I enjoy Paige Toon's books quite alot. Simple chick- lit delights. Oh, and I finished Dear John by Paige Toon in 2 days which is record breaking for me. Can't wait for her 4th book in 2010.

----------

2009. To sum up, all I can rememebr about 2009 is my OBSESSION with TRANSFORMERS!!! I bought the DVD for the first movie and watched it 5 or 6 times in a year. And I watched the 2nd movie 4 times in 2009. Twice in the cinema and twice on DVD. Madness. I almost wanted to get an Optimus and bumble bee toy but was deterred by the ridiculous price. I'm not willing to part $100+ to $200+ on some talking action figure.

-----------

Off to bed. 2009 has been wonderful because of the many blessings from God, love form my family and Chao Ta, Sydney returning from Perth, Stefanie happily married and meeting someone from the past.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE! GOD BLESS AND HAVE A WNDERFUL 2010!

BUSY TIMES AHEAD

2009-12-28T23:02:00.003+08:00

- Signed up to learn the Japanese Language
- Will be trying my advance theory for the 3rd time with Steffi in 2010.
- Work at CH is most of the time 10hours per day for 5 days.
- Going to pick up guitar from Melissa

Busy Busy Busy.
So looking forward to all the activities I have planned for myself.
Thank goodness Chao Ta gives me lots of freedom to indulge in all the things I wan to do :D

------------

I want to go sing KBox!!! and get contact lenses in 3 colors, brown, grey and green.

お誕生日おめでとう

SHOPPING SPREE

2009-12-27T20:21:00.002+08:00

Bought lots of things today.

- Levis Jeans
- Converse Shoe
- 3 tops from Cotton On

total damage = $195.70

that's all for shopping till my hearts content for this month.
I'm a happy girl :D

匿名的朋友

2009-12-25T05:20:00.004+08:00

匿名的朋友.. 祝你生日快乐..

----------

快乐也有许多种
没注意到其实时间过得很快

counting down

2009-12-22T22:16:00.002+08:00

3 more days to Christmas

9 more days to a new year

13 more days to a new work environment

excitement, anticipation and fear...

2009 seems to have flashed past me, it feels like I ma chasing after time this whole year. Tired yet fruitful. Hopefully with new plans I have for myself, 2010 will be yet another eventful year.

-----------------

楊丞琳-匿名的好友

-----------------

2009-12-19T23:44:00.001+08:00

i am sick and tired of arguements. it seems to be neverending.

maybe i should just be numb to everything to prevent it.

.

2009-12-19T22:02:00.002+08:00

Certain things you do are meant to be discreet. It's a form of respect and being sensitive to people's feelings. If you still think that I am making a big fuss then I've got nothing much to say.

王心凌有新歌了

2009-12-16T17:38:00.004+08:00

你的微笑姿态还是默默的存在(你~还~在)
在我心底某一块
不再是我们的还是要勇敢期待(爱~还~在)

我很好那么你呢想起的我是怎样的
当初哭着分不开现在都能用微笑释怀
轻轻问候着

我很好那么你呢离开我要比从前快乐
眼泪是记得而不哭了是懂得
我们都会幸福的

Breathe

2009-12-12T00:36:00.003+08:00

Taylor Swift's Breathe grows on me. Such a bitter- sweet song.

Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt.
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve.
But people are people,
And sometimes it doesnt work out,
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out.

And I cant,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to.

-------------------

Unofficially beginning work tmr. Excited yet apprehensive. It's a little frightening not knowing what is coming my way. But I'm sure God has big plans for me :D

I survived 1 year plus at such an unpredictable and disprganized place, I'm sure I can survive at least 1 year at the new place. 加油！

It was a somewhat difficult decision to leave. I had my reasons for wanting to work at Holland, but I guess it's time to let go of certain wish which will not come true. At least not for now.

Shall not talk about this anymore. I guess things happen for a reason, it's all in God's plan.

Happy stuff:

X'mas is coming. So is someone's birthday.
Happy 23rd Birthday to You! Wish you happiness and may all good things come to you.

----------------------

To Chao Ta:
Spending another X'mas with you. You have been a great support for me for the past 2 years. Appreciate it much! :D

a parellel universe

2009-11-24T22:52:00.002+08:00

Maybe it's my resentment towards reality and my current situation which makes me want to fall back on my ridiculous belief that a parallel universe do exist.

From now onwards I shall (/ignore) on every unhappy things i hear, see and face. When someone you hope to understand you doesn't and the person who understands you the most doesn't exist, you just have to rely on yourself and God to make yourself less upset.

Probably it's best for us to stay(literally) this way. I can predcit so much conflict between us if we stay together as your character will always clash with mine. And I do see myself trying to tolerate and all I ask is for assurance and understanding, but no matter how hard I try to explain to get you to see how I feel, you always see me as stubborn or difficult. I don't need you to agree with me, I just need you to feel and empathize with me. Is that too hard to ask of you?

for December.

2009-11-19T20:24:00.002+08:00

work on my punctuality. be 10minutes earlier.
be an observer first, followed by a listener before i make comments
gossip less
spend less on unecessary muchies

---------------

Having only 3.5hours of sleep last night is a killer. The whole day, I was feeling sleepy, it was hard to focus on the things I was doing and the worst part was the throbbing in my head. TERRIBLE!

Was thinking of other alternatives other than resigning. Perhaps I should request for Part-tiem position, whereby I clock-in 30hours a week instead of the current 44hours. That way, I will have ample time to have fun while trying to earn some money. Wonder how good will this idea of mine be and wonder if BOSS will agree.

OFF TO BED!

2010

2009-11-17T21:49:00.000+08:00

Next year I want to take up Eletronic Keyboard and Pilates :D

back to work.

2009-11-15T23:53:00.003+08:00

How nice if everyone gets to enjoy a 4day work week or 24 days annual leave. Never ever will it be possible. Guess I'll just dream on.

It's going to be week after week of 'extra- curricula activities' at work. SIANZ! I seriously don't see a point giving my 101% for this company. Or maybe I just lack of motivation.

$$ is motivation. And I'm not getting enough of it from this line. Torn between simplicity and cash. What will my ultimate decision be? Though I am certain I will leave this company in 4 moths time.

Aim: Tender resignation on the 1st March 2010.

best live version in my opinion.

2009-11-11T20:52:00.003+08:00

Lying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together
And I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever

-------------

the movie was great and the song is fantastic.

favorite movie and song, and liv tyler was super hot in the movie :P

Every 2 years

2009-11-10T22:37:00.002+08:00

I'm wrong!!! A trip to the countries I would love to visit is POSSIBLE. And I'm going to do so every 2 years. Wanted to start off with Australia next year, but I realize that if I don't aim for USA first, I'll probably be too old for DisneyLand. Anyway, I'm going to save my ass off and see which one I can afford first. $3000 here I come!!!

stay on for another year?

2009-11-09T23:52:00.003+08:00

I'm in a dilenma. As much as I dislike being in my current work environment, I am a bit lazy to move to a new place and the reason for me choosing to work in Holland is still not met yet. Anyway, I'll remain till I can't tolerate anymore.

Can't wait to watch the movie 2012. It looks real good to me.

If I have the opportunity, I want to go overseas to do my degree too. But I'm not blessed with that kind of money.

Chao ta's COMING BACK!
Yippie.

2010 Trip To Sydney Australia

2009-11-07T22:44:00.002+08:00

It's the 3rd time I;m reading the book "Lucy in the Sky" by Paige Toon, and each time I read the book, I can't help but to imagine myself being in Sydney's Manly Beach. So next year, I must visit that place! And I will. I'm so going to work hard, and save hard to fufil this wish of mine. I estimated the cost and this is what I have calculated for 2 pax for a 6D 5N Trip.

Spenditure: $2000
SIA Air Tix: $1928
Hotel: $1100

Total Cost: $5028

(prices in SGD)

guess i have to save harder.
Oct- May, 8 months
$350/ month.

random musings

2009-11-06T23:43:00.005+08:00

Honestly, I'm enjoying staying apart from Chao Ta and going over to his place over the weekends; at least for now. It gives me the personal space I need and reduces the chance of any possible arguements. I hate arguing with him, each time I argue with him, I get the feeling the relationship is going to end. Although I know I'm just being too emotional and drama la but it's still very depressing.

But But But.. it's weird when I'm him, I hope I'm not, but when I am not, I wish i can be right next to him.

Ok. Maybe I'm just crazy. Hmm......

ok.. to be ignored.

i'm probably just feeling anal cos my bag decided to died on me in the middle of Orchard Road, and I had no choice but to carry all my stuffs in 2 huge Takashimaya paperbags.
-------------

Time to be pro- active in making friendships. I should start with Mr Ta whom I last saw in year 2006 but chat with on MSN almost everyday. I want to be loner- kia no more. HAHA!!

------------

i wonder how does vodka with cranberry taste like. Melissa says it taste like medicine.
???

really?

-----------

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
Because my dreams are bursting at the seams

(Fireflies- Owl City)

Chao Ta

2009-11-05T23:00:00.002+08:00

10 questions i want to ask you?

1. can i fall in love with you all over again?

2. will you sponsor marie france body line treatment when i am starting to be unable to regain my figure after childbirth?

3. if i tell you i am holding back will you be upset?

4. can you forgo your support for MANU and join the KOP?

5. can we go to australia or japan next year?

6. can headbutt, elbow you and finally end it with a figure of '8'?

7. will you laugh at me if i fall down in the public?

8. can you say something nice?

9. will you take slow walks with me?

10. if i die? will you cry?

simple yet so difficult.

2009-11-05T00:35:00.003+08:00

Need to add 100% more patience to my already 80% patience. Why didn't I thought of being a Pre-school teacher earlier. Though I earn less, but at least life now is much simpler, peaceful and happier. I enjoy being around children. Although some can really suck my blood, but still, they will do the cutest thing which makes me smile.

A friend asked me what are the Top 100 things I would want to do/ achieve before I die. Hmm... I don't know if I have 100 things, but I do have some.

1. Visit Japan, Russia, Germany, Amsterdam, USA, London, Greece
2. Attend a wine appreciation course
3. Learn to play either a drum/ guitar/ keyboard
4. Take a ride on a Vespa
5. Keep my hair to waist length and perm it
6. Drink till I'm dead drunk
7. A collection of 20 pairs of converse in various colors and designs
8. A degree
9. Watch a live soccer match in Europe
10. Experience winter
11. Live overseas for a month or more
12. Experiencing falling crazily in love for someone
13. Open beer bottle caps using my teeth
14. Get a nose job
15. Fimer abs, thighs and arms
16. Meet Fann Wong in person
17. Adopt a pen- pal
18. Pick up japanese and french language
19. Be an air stewardess
20. Go on a backpacking trip to one of the countries stated in Point #1
21. Step foot into Zouk/ ButterFactory/ St. James
22. Visit a Thai Pub
23. Spent $1000 in a day shopping in Bangkok
24. Go on a holida alone to somewhere. But I'm afraid to sleep in the dark and alone.
25. Sing with a band

That's about all I can think of for now.

Off to bed.......

罗忆诗- 别再哭了

2009-11-03T20:38:00.003+08:00

伤心情歌播几遍了你的眼还湿红红的
生命总有些过客现在不过多了一个
结束了何必再拉扯有些事总该遗忘的
你听着听着又哭了我明白的谁都难免不舍

别再哭了多不值得想一想把爱情看透彻
生活苦涩该他负责他会后悔他做了这选择
别再哭了多不值得失去也是另一种获得
伤心情歌不属你的幸福不一定非爱谁不可
难熬的会经过的

爱错了又能如何

---------------------

好好听的一首歌.

---------------------

Work is more or less the same. Nothing new or interesting happening lately. I'll graduate in another 1 more year and was wondering if I should commit myself to this organization? Bettre not! Considering how disorganize and immature my superiors can be. Yawnz. Where oh where should I venture too? A small but promising place maybe?

Off to bed.. sleeeeeeeeeeeepy.

不能说的秘密

2009-11-01T22:43:00.002+08:00

你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远
又何必去改变已错过的时间
你用你的指尖阻止说我再见
想象你在身边在完全失去之前
你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远
或许命运的签只让我们遇见
只让我们相恋这一季的秋天
飘落后才发现这幸福的碎片
要我怎么捡

-----------

spent $144 today. Faints. But But... I'm in contro!!

i miss steamboat buffet.
i miss shiok drink nights with you

liverpool liverpool liverpool

2009-11-01T09:38:00.000+08:00

what's wrong with you?

by December 2009

2009-10-31T22:50:00.005+08:00

I plan to save up for 3 items after getting December's pay and AWS which comes early during December :D

1. Chao Ta's X'ms Present
3. A mini Braun Buffel Wallet
2. A Coach Wrislet

Estimated pocket damage.. $500 or less.

---------------

I've finally worked in an organization for 1 year plus. What an achievement! :P However, I'm planning to tender in April 2010 if the workload for next year proves too much for me to handle. 2010 is going to be a hetic year, with the huge responsibility of preparing the little ones for Primary education, involving myself in K2 kid's camp and year end concert, and the line up of modules and assignments, I can see myself having breakouts very often. *crosses- fingers*

Hoefully, after my Diploma course, I can continue to do my Masters. Getting a degree is SO DAMN EXPENSIVE!!! $27, 820. With that kind of money, I can easily hold a 28 table wedding dinner banquet at The Regent Hotel and still have 3K+ leftover for a honeymoon. And you think getting a degree is just simple as paying the fees and you can get in? NO WAY! One still has to complete a 2- 3 page essay and 2 referals. What the ****! I guess that's the price to pay(no pun intended) in order for me to be on par with the standards of nowadays and to make sure I gain foothold in the early childhood education sector.

Despite my great wish to do my Masters, my priority is to hold my wedding dinner. I want to officially announce to my family and friends that Chao ta is my husband, and most importantly to be proudly married into the Chau family so that I won't be look down upon by __________.

Chao Ta: Walao, who will look down on you?!
Me: Maybe I am sensitive, but just for assurance, I want to have a proper and semi- grand wedding dinner or lunch.

oh, oh, oh and fufil my wish of wearing an evening gown made by my Aunty Alice, and having my grandparents to wittness my wedding and having the oppoprtunity to drink the chinese tea offered by me and their grandson-in-law :D

aim: to hold my wedding dinner by 4th quater of 2011 or 1st quater of 2012.

Hopefully I can tio a $30K 4D den I can hold my wedding on 4May2011 :D
Maybe I should invest 1223 $5 every wed, sat and sun.
*ponders, ponders, ponders*

------------

Was flipping through the novel "The Picture of Dorian Gray"b by Oscar Wilde and found this rather interesting.

" The ugly and the stupid have the best of it in this world. The can sit at their ease and gape at the play. If they know nothing of victory, they are at least spared from the knowledge of defeat. They live as we all should live, undisturbed, indifferent and without disquiet. They neither bring ruin upon others, nor ever recieve it from alien hands..."

What do you think?
I'm just happy being avergage.

---------------

Time to go to bed.
Sleepy and sicly.

do you hear me talking to you,
across the water across the deep blue ocean, under the open sky
oh my! baby i'm trying.

boy i hear you in my dreams
i feel you whisper across the sea
keep you with me in my heart, you make it easier when life gets hard.

lucky i'm in love with my best friend
lucky to have been where i have been
lucky to be coming home again.

(Lucky- Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat)

I miss Chao Ta. Can't wait for him to come back so that i can irritate the shit out of him by constantly whinning, wriggling and randomness. HAHAHHAHHAAHAHAH!

Just 10 more days ....

i want

2009-10-30T00:02:00.004+08:00

i want to instantly have $208 so that i can purchase the estee lauder makeup set. but i know it's impossible, and i am not allowed to use the credit card this month because next month i have to pay some stuffs. SAD:( it's suppose to be a very good buy! i shall wait till next year nov. cos it's a per year thing. haiz!!

sad to be a poor teacher
sux to have no extra $$

----------

it's like even if you are free you oso have no time for me. sometimes i wan talk to you, then you just want to quickly end the discussion with me.

it's so hard sometimes to communicate with you...

but but but... ... ...
whenever you are not around, i miss you so much and love you more then when you are around. i'm so silly sometimes and i feel like i'm dunno talking what nonsense.

happy being alone

2009-10-27T20:29:00.002+08:00

Anti- social is such a general term to describe people who doesn't like to socialize or have little friends. I for many times been described as anti- social by some. But I'm not! One thing straight I can talk and mingle with strangers, I just avoid forming close friendships with anyone because I find that having best friends requires too much commitment and effort and therefore havaing 1 or 2 is more than enough.

Oh, and recently I find that I am surrounded by stupid people who thinks that he or she is really good or talented or smart. I feel like telling them staright off into their faces that they are just plain stupid. OK. I know i'm so evil. But really la, some peoplee just irks you.

a question

2009-10-25T01:43:00.003+08:00

Chao Ta asked me a random question few days ago.

"What is the 1 thing you'll ask from Santa?"

Somehow, this random and common question got me thinking for a few days. What do I really want? I guess majority would agree that just 1 request is never enough and they'll probably use the 1 request to ask for more requests; I am just like the majority. There are so many things I wish I could have right now and I could classify them as the impossible, the probably and the able to.

Impossible
- A time machine to go back in time, to make all the wrongs right again. I use to say I never regreted all the things I did in the past, but after much thought... I DO REGRET!!! If I can have a time machine, I'll go back in time and put in more effort in Secondary School, complete my Diploma in Nursing and continue to do my degree in Nursing overseas and finally working overseas.
- my own home with my husband and kids only
- my loved ones to forever and ever be around
- the Pre- school sector's pay can be proportionate to our qualifications, and our benefits will be as good or at least be comparable to that of a construction worker

Probably
- travel to all the countries on my 'places i want to visit before I die list'
- set up my own childcare centre/ kindergraten
- Tag Heur watch
- be a part- time housewife
- wedding dinner
- Bachelor of Science in Early Childhood Education

Able To
- Burberry wallet
- Longchamp Le Pilage long handle
- COACH wrislet
- Masters of Science in Early Childhood Education

WOW!! That's indeed a long list of things which I will ask from Santa. Out of the so many things I wish I could have, it would be my loved ones to be with me forever.

It's always the impossible that one would wish for because you hope that with the help of some magical fairy dust that wish of yours would come true as it is beyond your physical means to achieve it.
:
:
:

As for my able to's, I'll thank Chao Ta in advance :P
just joking :D

how to??

2009-10-19T08:03:00.004+08:00

so noisy how to sleep

passwords passwords passwords.
TO HELL WITH IT MAN!!!

and i guess it doesn't matter if i tell you what bothers me cos it's just another 'FYI' to you.

i'm very tired of quarelling with you. nowadays i feel that going back to my own home is the happiest thing in my life. i'm worried that one of these days even facing you and communicating with you will be a stressful situation for me.

for the 3rd time i am left to go home by myself and you did not even BOTHER to ask me to stay. it doesn't matter if i leave in anger or what. it's you didn't ask me to stay. and that's hurts.
suprisingly this time round i didn't cry anymore. maybe i'm not bothered by it or just like you i can't be bothered le.

i'm very tired

fractured arm is haunting me

2009-10-17T00:37:00.003+08:00

I guess I have to schedule for an X-ray appointment soon. Whenever I try to lift my right arm, it hurts. Not the joints that is hurting but the bone. It has the similar pain when my fractured humerus bone was injured when I was still in secondary school. The hurt came when I fell and hit it against the school's cupboard.

Anyway, constipation sucks. But it's a monthly ordeal I have to go through just before seeing red. It's bad enough with the day time sleepiness, nausea and bloated tummy. The constipation worsens it. All these makes me feel lousy, moody and terrible. I really wish I can oblige but I just have no mood for anything when the time is near.

-----

Celebrated Nic's 21st birthday. It was very heartwarming scene. She broke out in tears- probably the thought of how much her parents did for her for the past 21 years makes her teary. So sweet rite?

My 21st was well celebarted with my family. It was a very memorable experience. I thanked my Grandpa for paying the meal at Swensens and my relatives and cousins for celebrating my birthday. Come to think of it, my family make it an effort to celebrate my birthday every year and I appreciate it very much. And for the past 23 years, grandma without fail, made red eggs and cooked noodles.

Sometimes i dare not think of what my life will be when Grandma and Grandpa goes to heaven. I'll be devastated! Chao Ta once said that my grandparents love for me can never match up a mother's love for their own child. But I beg to differ. I feel that my grandparents loved me in many ways much more than any parents could ever do. It's what I called selfless love, especially my grandma, she has always been there for me, in ways which I failed to notice at times. Sometimes I feel that I'm not doing enough to repay my grandparents. Hopefully God gives me enough time to do so.

I really love them.

regrets

2009-10-15T21:26:00.002+08:00

i have made too mnay wrong moves and made too mnay mistakes. and recently, i feel that the mistakes i make just keep snowballing

courage

2009-10-12T21:06:00.002+08:00

One needs the courage to step into unfamiliar grounds. I really would love to drop all cares and woes, equippied myself with a few grands in my pocket and back pack round the world or at least to the must see countries on my list with a like minded friend. Sadly, I'm not able to do that because, I don't have such like minded friend. I guess Chao Ta will sure say you don't have that few grands too. Then I'll answer him: "If i wan i will". The question is ARE YOU WILLING TO TRAVEL WITH ME???

This are the places I want to visit before I go up to heaven:
1. japan
2. russia
3. germany
4. amsterdam
6. usa
7. london

and my latest edition:
7. greece

after my business is done in SG (2011 FEB)
i'll leave on a jet plane and dunno when i'll be back again

Insomnia

2009-10-12T06:40:00.003+08:00

Couldn't sleep well the whole night, there were just too many thoughts in my mind. Terrible feeling to be troubled and worried. Thank God, prayers did make things better. I was able to calm my mind and gradually fall asleep after tossing and turning for quite some time.

I just hope that whatever Chao Ta's disappointment will turn out well in the end.

--------
80 more days to year end. I was calculating when should I tender my resignation letter considering Chinese New Year to be around mid Feb 2010. Maybe I'll tender end March. However if I don't get a full 13th month Bonus (AWS) I would definietly tender on the 2 Jan 2010. And tell them to kiss my arse. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I actually don't mind staying on for another year, but sadly, the place is DISORGANIZE IN ALL ASPECTS. Apparently, my in- charge is such a last minute and doesn't have an open mind, which makes things worse. Sucky! And some of my colleagues are just plainly put LAZY and WITHOUT INITIATIVES.

Sadly, I've to go work today cause it's staff training. How wonderful! *rolls- eyes a million times*
8am- 4pm is going to feel like forever to me. However, i'll try my best to find joy.. TRY!!!

爱不疚- 林峰

2009-10-04T23:43:00.002+08:00

遥远是宇宙静静在背后去看守就够

这种感觉太亲厚讲一千句也不够
即使一刹有过冲动挽你手
这种恋爱太罕有不需真正拥有
成全多舍不得仍然是放手

放手放开所有彼此更自由
放手其实我绝非爱得不够
放手豁出所有还有这个好友
已经已经足够

放手我的牵挂找不到尽头
放手期望你幸福甚麽都有
也许爱很深厚然而我早看得透
放手至可拥有

---

这首歌真好听
虽然不怎么觉得林峰帅，但还是有种淡淡的魅力让我好想看他演的港局
但我的最爱还是 陳鍵鋒 :D

---

最近都很不开心，为什么有些事总是在你不注意的时候悄悄的浮现在你脑海里迟迟都不肯离去？有时很想把脑袋的一部分给去掉，希望这就是最直接和最好能够把不开心和纳闷的记忆给弄掉。好讨厌举棋不定的我！希望不快乐能够早点离开。也希望你能对我别那么凶，那么没礼貌。我也希望我们俩能有多一点的活动因为我真开始觉得有点闷和无趣乏味。

sad

2009-10-01T02:11:00.004+08:00

I've been rather emotional since last weekend. Apparently, it seemed like a passing phase to some. I'm really very troubled. For several reasons which I don't think telling anyone would help, cause no one ever really listened to my problems to care enough to help me accept for Steph. Probably my smiley facade is working too well.

I need a breather. I want to disappear. Can I borrow some time? A little crazinesss...

Probably I'm a person full of complains and whinning in your eyes, but if you truely understand what I want and what I need, you would realise that there are certain things which you have missed out and my request ain't selfish.

Although I have you, but i feel alone still. It's like all I have is your shadow, but not you.

Contentment

2009-09-27T20:47:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I'm contented and greatful for what I have, but I guess, I just can't help but feel lacking and disappointed with the things I cannot have.

Anyway, glad to hear his mum is willing to stay in with us when we get our own house. I don't mind, but i wish that she won't join us too soon. I wan to enjoy ER REN SHI JIE for awhile la.

just wabt to be home

2009-09-25T23:44:00.003+08:00

I seem to dread coming to Chao Ta's place more and more. As much as I wish to see him and spend time with him, I dislike being at his house. It makes me uncomfortable, strange and uptight. A ver uneasy and stressful weekend for me. Hopefully the situation will improve once his sister moves out. It's very upsetting to be greeting someone and not being acknowledged. First is his sister, now is the mum. They probably think I'm the one with a problem. What to do, at least we are on civil terms. Haizzzz.....

Anyway I don't feel happy recently. I've never felt as sad as I am today for quite some time. Maybe becuase I'm bored, maybe because I'm broke or maybe because I'm torubled by many things which I'm unaware about.

I miss being young and carefree. I miss being a teenager. You know how like when you are younger, nothing else really matters but just to have fun. Have spontaneous fun in life, have spontaneous fun in a relationship. Somehow I find that missing in my life now. Sometimes I really wish to just disappear for a period of time and go do random things which I like. Then again, I don't have that kind of money now. I guess once inawhile, I'll feel moody about not being able to get that bag, or that shirt becuase of the miserable pay I'm getting from my job which requires so much of my energy and time.

I wish to go Ion Orchard with you. I know that seeing me so upset you will agree. But I dun want you to bring but at the back of your mind worried about parkng charges, ERP, etc..I'll be able to sense it and it's just going to make me upset further. Public transport for you is out of the way. So I guess, I'll just think of some other way out to entertain myself.

Can I have a teddy bear please?

Brain Spasm

2009-09-22T18:26:00.001+08:00

wonder if the human brain can go into spasm or have cramps like muscles.

???

SKLAP

2009-09-21T23:19:00.003+08:00

Super bored with work and maybe with this monotonous rythm of life.

I don't like what i am doing now. Then again, I've never enjoyed working. I'm not lazy. I'll still work if I have to.

Resentment

2009-09-18T06:32:00.002+08:00

Recently I feel a sense resentment towards my job. I use to love children very much, but after working at that particular childcare I just feel like getting myself as far away from children as possible, to the point I find children a little disgusting.

The situation doesn't help with such one irritating collegue whom everyone hates due to her uncouth, rude and irresponsible work attitude. What's worse, 'someone' is rather useless I feel. She just wants to be the good guy in our environment, thus doesn't bother to speak to her. A good leader is one who listens to suggestions and make improvements, but sadly, mine doesn't. She frowns upon suggestions, doesn't encourage your honest opinion that something which she planned is not working(despite seeing it for herself), and worse, constant missing in action.

Now the working environment is a living nightmare. Disorganized, shorthanded despite having 30 odd staff where other schools runs perfectly well with only 9. Weak curriculum and lousy worksheets which i'm not afraid to say it although I'm not fully trained.

C'mon, 4 more months to year end. Afterwhich I can take my AWS and RUNNNNN!!! Or should I say ESCAPE!!!

Then again, AWS is performance based. WTF! Alreadie we are quite pathetic without year end bonus, now our AWS is what?! Performance based. Wonderful. Not that I worry I'm not up to expectations, just that I find it.. STUPID!

Please make time past quickly, cos it's like crawling so slowly. I'll be off to work in 1hrs time. This 1 hr is a struggle for me. I feel like killing myself. ARGHH!!

I Want To Live With You

2009-09-15T22:24:00.002+08:00

Although living apart has its perks, but I find that a married couple living togther only over the weekends is WEIRD!

I want to have our own house, and I want to stay with you. However, I'm also in a dilenma. As much as you wish to live near your mum, I would want to live ner my grandparents. It's so tough a decision to make. Yesterday, while I was at your place, my ah gong fell down at home. Though not serious and no cuts and bruises, I can't help but feel guilty something like that happen because I'm not at home. I really feel very very stucked.. What am I to do?

Even if we were to move somewhere near.. but near where? Near your mum? Near my grandparents? I understand that I'm married to you, and in Chinese customs, the girl should follow the guy, but I can't help but tend to be a little selfish, and I believe you will be a little selfish too. Now you know why I always hope that your Mum will want to stay with your sis? Not that I'm being unreasonable or I dun wish to take care of her, but it's a good solution. We can still ask her out once in awhile. But as far as I know, your mum wishes to remain in CCK. Haiz.. how how how?

God, please help me out here...

Doesn't Matter

2009-09-14T14:59:00.001+08:00

Recently I'm just can't be bothered to even argue to prove my point and make you understand my point anymore. It's frustrating enough that I don't seem to get your full attention whenever we are going out and now you feel that I am just fussing over something really minor.

----

Sadly, I've missed watching 4 movies. Sux. Hopefully Youtube has it in like a few months time. HaHa!

Exhaustion

2009-09-10T21:22:00.002+08:00

2 grueling weeks is finally coming to an end!!! How wonderful!!!

I've been busy completeing assignments, preparing a very important person's birthday, rushing to finish up my children's Term 3 activity book and some random stuffs which I can't even recall. Absolutely draining me out. As much as I hate to say this but I'm really a 10hr sleeper; the recommended 8hrs has never been quite sufficient to keep me re- energized after a hard day's work. However, for the past 2 weeks, I've been way behind recommended sleeping hour what more my body's requirement of 10hr sleep. Yesterday was the worst. I only slept like 2hrs. So, I'll probably fall asleep pretty soon. Can't wait for the weekends to come and follow- by my Monday and Tuesday OFFs!! Yippie.

Will be staying in Fairmount with Chao Ta over the weekends. It's his birthday gift, together with a Man U Jersey which he requested la. Well, although I'm a working adult, but my miserable pay is pathetically saved up, SO I DID PRESENT U AN EXPENSIVE K!! I totally busted my budget on this one. So please love me more and close one eye about the pimple cream I 'tricked' you into buying... Hahahahahah!!! COS I'm DEAD BROKE. :P

Off to bed..

神雕侠侣

2009-09-01T23:49:00.003+08:00

这部戏勾起了好多有趣的回忆... 哈哈！李铭顺和范文芳版的神雕侠侣首次播出，我应该只有 10 or 12 years old. 我的天啊！That's 11 years ago. 那时的我是多么疯狂范文芳和那部戏。当时美洲的杂志都有神雕侠侣的封面。所以我花掉了零用钱积极的狂买狂收集，把里面有关的内容和图片都剪了下来，贴在一本书里。回想起觉得好好小啊！

Random Musings

2009-09-01T00:19:00.003+08:00

还隐隐作痛　还记得你笑容
这回忆多麽沉重　宁愿没有过
还隐隐作痛　还看见你放手
这回忆多麽美丽　刺痛我心头

偶然地情况下听到了这首歌。好好听啊！Sydney thought it was really nice too, and she happened to hear it from the TV at the same time as me.

明天做了指甲后我会和好朋友一起吃午餐。好久没见到她了，她终于留学回来了。虽然我们的友谊随着时间慢慢的淡化了，但我非常开心能够有她这位朋友。希望她永远幸福快乐

也希望你永远幸福快乐 :)

--- --- ---

有时觉得生活好平凡无畏，但有时又觉得这平平的生活很舒服。好矛盾啊！也许人生就是要你在不完美中找寻完美，回忆中找寻力量还有现实中找寻梦想。

一山不能藏二虎

2009-08-31T01:00:00.002+08:00

一山不能藏二虎，但你的山洞里却有三只。不天下大乱才怪！俗话说得好，相见容易相处难...

--- --- ---

We've decided to get a place of our own. It is for the sake of our relationship and to save us anymore unecessary trouble and inconvenience. That's good news for me!

Although I'm dying to have my own place, I do worry for his mum as she'll be alone. And living alone in a big house is no joke. Moreover, she doesn't seem like someone who can take good care of herself. Haiz.. it's such a difficult decision to make. Actually I don't mind if she stays with us in OUR house that is. Liek the saying goes... 寄人篱下的感觉一点都不好. At least I can do as I wish in my own home and she can't comment. As for her, as long as she doesn't mess up my place, watse electricity and contribute either monetory or effort I don't really mind.

Sorry but I don't really like SPONGER in my circle of life.

Limit

2009-08-29T14:51:00.002+08:00

YOU HAVE TOTALLY CROSSED MY LINE OF TOLERANCE!!!

I'VE NEVR QUITE SEEN ANYONE AS STUPID, RETARDED, BRAINLESS AND SNOBBISH AS YOU!!! TMD.

老娘不发火当我做病猫。我是看在老公和你妈的面子上才没给你一点颜色看。被把我给惹火了，否则我会六亲不认的把你臭骂一顿。

ANGRY TO THE MAX MAN!!!
^&*(%^(*

Last but not least, I don't understand why someone with such education don't have basic common sense to throw used pad into the dustbin. FOR GOODNESS SAKE, ONLY PPL LIKE YOU WILL THROW PAD DOWN THE TOILET BOWL OK!!!

DARE TO DO DUN DARE TO ADMIT, STILL WANT TO SAY ME!! CHEEBYE!!!

I AM BROUGHT UP TO WRAP MY USED PAD IN AN ENVELOPE AND THROW IT I THE BIN HOR!!! UNLIKE YOU!!! DISGUSTING WOMAND!!!

Spaced Out

2009-08-29T01:30:00.003+08:00

My mind is sort of always at a blank state. Staring into space, day dreaming and not focusing has been plaguing me; noticed by classmates and ChaoTa. I can be busy doing something and the next second I just spaced out. Like a mediocre blue tooth mouse; one moment it works perfectly well and the next it looses connection.

What's happening to me? Signs of old age? Mmm... ok.. talking nonsense..

--- --- ---

"It's hard being left behind. I wait for Henry, not knowing where he is, wondering if he's okay. It's hard to be the one who stays." ~~ Clare (Time Traveler's Wife)

I want to read the book and catch the movie (starring the ever so lovely Rachel McAdams, one of my favorite Hollywood actress). I'm sure it's going to be filled with 'Kleenex' moments.

New Friends

2009-08-27T00:43:00.001+08:00

Went drinking with Mr. Lai and Melissa straight after our exam. It was a quiet drinking place at Siglap. Mr. Lai was the one who brought us there; something different from the usual life band pubs which I go to with Melissa. Quiet but nice.

I enjoyed the company. Although Mr. Lai is much older than us (he could pass of as our Dad), but he’s very easy to talk to. He shared many things with us which I consider inspirational and certain things which he said I seriously agreed. Sometimes, you just need someone who has been there done that to share their experiences to make you feel assured that you are not on the wrong track. Mahjong and drinking session soon k!

Being out of the norm, doesn’t mean you are wrong I guess.

Chao Ta was saying that I can be such a loner at times. I do agree that I am since I don’t know when. Maybe, it’s time for some changes. I should reach out rather then wait. I should remember that looking back isn’t for the sake of feeling sad and regretful, but rather a chance for you to learn, move on and improve. I always know this fact all along, but failed to put it into practice. Maybe it’s time I should just exercise it. Maybe I should just start with WeeKiang and Jasper. HaHa!!

I love my life, I love Chao Ta, I love my family and I love God.

Possibility of My Own Home?

2009-08-25T00:22:00.002+08:00

Seriously, nothing beats having your own place to leave in. Unfortunately, I might never get the opportunity to do so because my husband is the only son and his mum is like all alone. Not complaining la, when I agreed to marry him, I already know that it’s an unavoidable issue. I know Chao Ta will be worried if he has to leave his mum alone and that won’t make him happy. I guess somehow, sacrifices have to be made. Let’s just pray that if I do have to leave in with his mum, things will work out right.

Recently, I’m feeling rather vexed. I’m not happy but I don’t know why? I guess it has got something to do with ‘You’. It’s always the case when I’m feeling emo. This SUX!!!

GOSH!! Is my ear playing trick on me? Coz I just heard on TV that Freddie Prince Jr., one of my favourite actors, is a HUGE FAN OF WWE. -.-“ And he’s like co- hosting summer slam 2009 like right now. How EWWWWWW!!! And then some guy appears while he is blabbering a whole load of ‘opening speech’ and started acting happily to entertain the audience. Which reminds me a little of MTV Movie Awards where stars do some funny skits to make the audience laugh.

OK. Whatever.

Exams in 2 more days and I’m only like 40% prepared. I’m such a procrastinator.
BAD!!!

Today Chao Ta brought me to Clementi. That place brings back so many nice memories too. I use to play badminton with Sydney and another friend called Hwee Ping in the Clementi Sports Hall. So fun.

Nostalgia

2009-08-24T00:50:00.001+08:00

I’ve wasted a day. Instead of preparing for my exams, my mind is pre-occupied about some other stuff which is totally random and unnecessary. What was I thinking of? Gosh!! Wakeup Girl!!

I’m dying to go カラオケ. Fingers crossed, mouth sealed :X Probably Chao Ta will bring me for KLunch tomorrow. I want to visit the new KBox at Safra Jurong. It’s new and by reading on its deco and facilities (http://www.kbox.com.sg/Location.aspx?u=13) just makes me wanna go down and sing some songs. ~~ LaLaLaLaLa~~ Recently I’m so addicted to songs of the 90’s; both English and Mandarin. It brings back a sense of nostalgia which brings smile to my face each time I link each song to a certain incident which happen during my Primary school days. Those wonderful memories of my childhood, which never failed to put a silly smile on my face.

I used to have a friend in Primary 6, who would chat with me for several hours on the phone. It was record breaking 14hrs long. And because I was still regarded as too young to go out with friends, I have to resort to watching a pre- recorded movie over the phone with my friend who so happen to have the VCD. Quite a surprise that I do have such a friend? Of course I did, sadly, we failed to keep in contact as time goes by and I don’t even know how to contact this friend now.
I guess it’s all these ridiculous stuff we did during childhood days which will leave a lasting impression in our mind till the day we leave planet earth. Not a bad thing afterall...

Anway, Fulham Vs. Chelsea now. 87mins into the game and the score is 0:2. Who cares? I’m a Liverpool supporter! HaHa!

You’ll never walk alone… Yeah Yeah Yeah! Lirong loves Gerrard.

Exams, Friendship and My Life So Far

2009-08-22T23:55:00.004+08:00

The last time I really studied for an exam would be 6 years ago, when I was still a student at NYP. I thought studying days were over when I dropped out of school; here I am, 6 years later, killing my brain cells, trying to remember a load full of information on early intervention for children with special needs. Then again, from my exam notes, studying doesn’t really kills brain cells, apparently it ‘awakens’ them. Unfortunately, my brain cells are just like me, ‘special’ therefore it dies upon 50% of work.

Ok, excuses, I’m just lazy! Hey, whoever in the world loves exams man? Maybe there is, but it should be the minorities right?

2hrs into studying, I already feel like hitting the sack. I’m so tired! Guess I’ll have to continue tomorrow. Luckily Chao Ta isn’t in town, if not it would be another form of distraction apart from my enticing bed. He left for a 1 day road trip to Malaysia- Malacca. He’ll be back tomorrow evening. Wonder what is he doing now? According to him, I was sleep- talking last night. He couldn’t really make out what I was saying though. Hmm, I guess it’s got to do with the discomfort of a hot and stuffy room, wearing a hair band to bed (which he didn’t take remove for me) and forgetting to brush my teeth.

Anyway we were talking about friendships and friends last night. Well, I guess it’s quite obvious by now that I’m a loner by choice. Somehow, I find friendships quite a chore to maintain and honestly it’s a really huge commitment. Luckily for me, despite my seemingly can’t be bothered nature, I still have 2 friends. Stefanie and Sydney. Although the latter seemed to give me a ‘there but not there feel’. Well of course, like in any other relationships, there is no obligation that it has to be everlasting but it’ll be better if it could be as long as possible.

I do believe all things happen for a reason, and I got to accept the fact that it is God’s intricate plan to allow certain things to happen; which brings me to where I am today; finding joy with my work, family and Chao Ta, and learning about, love, appreciation, self- control, freedom and responsibility.

但是我这美好的人生总会有一个遗憾.